nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite
so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL
read it here:
"Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays."
Sounds legit TBH.
Y’know, sometimes I think that living in Ireland isn’t all that great, but then I remember that we don’t have cockroaches.
so turns out the guy who discovered uranus originally wanted to name it “george”
just. imagine a planet called George
mercury venus earth jupiter saturn GEORGE
"vaccinate your fucking kids"
— holy shit do you know what year it is (via fuckyeahtherealkiki)